Samuel Nellessen smiling with gemstone face decoration at an evening event.

A bit more personal

Outside research, I sing, write songs and poems, do calisthenics, and repair and ride bicycles. I recently picked up the harmonica for more dilly dallying. I also write autofiction under a pseudonym. If you manage to dox my pen name, the first coffee is on me.

Poetry

Below is some poetry I am proud of.

Aboutness

A bright smell of osmanthus
cuts through the air—
thin,
tear apart
the skin.

Sticky shoes on the ground.
Broken glass and empty bottles.
Watch me perform
a nose dive
into a puddle.

Burning vapor pervades the room,
the sting settles in my nose.
People gather round
the fallen cup.
There is no way but up.

Up on the ladder—
where the wood groans
under the heavy weight of their eyes.
Dissolve your human ties.
Walk the tightrope
between the clever and the dead
to go under.

Show your shiny feathers—
a witty joke
tossed down
for good measure.

Hot Molten Metal

Oh, I wish
I was stronger,
eyes twitching.
How could I ignore her?

Oh, I wish
I was better,
hot molten metal.
How could I forget her?

Oh, I wish
I hadn’t met her.

Pour it in my brain.
Make me matter
to her.

on my way home

on my way home
saw a little girl
on the back of her mother's bike
we looked at each other
longer than strangers usually dare to do
she even turned around to look at you
checking whether the moment was still true
yet you forgot to smile

such a small crime
only you could convict yourself for it

i hope i didn't disappoint her
you think
as if a whole afternoon
warps around the corners of a mouth
you forgot to move
as if a moment too late
can make a million seconds ache

i am at the wrong bus stop again
on the wrong side of the road
in the wrong direction
watching three buses
pass on to the other side
where's mine?

so i walk
different place under the sun
under the same sky
yet the same thoughts
follow me home

then
two bike bells rang
almost a perfect fifth apart